Divorcing Over 50: What to Expect

The term “gray divorce” refers to people who divorce later in life, generally after long marriages.

In the article, “Divorce After 50: What I Wish I Had Known Beforehand” (originally published on Marketwatch), people going through gray divorces share information that they wish they could have shared with their younger selves, thus providing important considerations for others.

Waiting to Divorce Until Your Children Leave Home? 

One of My Divorce Recovery’s first blog articles was about Gray Divorce and its impact on adult children. Similarly, this article highlights the impact on children living outside the home who are not necessarily experiencing the changes in the family in real time.. The take-away is that if you’re waiting to divorce until your children have left the home, do understand that changes in the family that take place after the children have moved out do not necessarily help their adjustment. In fact, it may be harder for them to adjust as a result of not experiencing a new normal following a transition that they have lived through.

Are You a Stay-at-Home Mother?

It can be daunting for stay-at-home mothers to go back into the job market after a long hiatus. For women who had careers prior to raising children, looking into license renewal and reigniting their skill set can be helpful preparatory steps to take.. Help from career or financial counselors can prepare women not to be blindsided by not knowing how to support themselves post-divorce. 

I Wanted the Divorce, But It’s Not Easy

There are plenty of women who choose to end their marriages. Although it may be the right choice, it can still be incredibly disruptive and lonely, especially when your children are no longer part of your day-to-day responsibility. Women of gray divorces are advised to create a community, develop interests and hobbies, and utilize support groups and therapies.

A major shift happens in social networks when you become single. You may find that coupled friends aren’t as available.. Some people think that divorce is contagious and they’re going to catch it. Preparing for this shift is important so you will not be blindsided.  For many individuals, living through the crisis of divorce creates opportunities for growth and transformation. 

Divorce is Expensive!

Divorces can be very expensive. Make sure to choose your attorney wisely, especially if it’s an adversarial divorce. There are many different options, including mediation and collaborative divorce, which can be significantly less costly than a litigated divorce. 

It is also important to be mindful that attorneys are there to help with legal guidance. Finding emotional support through therapists and divorce coaches will help you resist turning to people who may not be qualified to help you. 

Many of the people interviewed in this article shared how empowering, exciting, and liberating it can be to become independent and responsible for yourself. Yet it can also be terrifying. If you are considering ending your marriage, there are emotional, financial, and social considerations that can help you to prepare.

If you’re considering divorce and want some help thinking through your options and concerns, feel free to contact us with your questions.