Divorcing Over 50: What to Expect

The term “gray divorce” refers to people who divorce later in life, generally after long marriages.

Divorcing Over 50: What to Expect by Lauren Behrman

In the article, “Divorce After 50: What I Wish I Had Known Beforehand” (originally published on Marketwatch), people going through gray divorces share information that they wish they could have shared with their younger selves, thus providing important considerations for others.

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Questions to Ask Yourself After Your Marriage Ends: Whose Needs are They Anyway?

Questions to Ask Yourself After Your Marriage Ends: Whose Needs are They Anyway? by Lauren Behrman

When a marriage ends, all parties grieve differently. The healing process for the divorcing couple often looks and feels very different from the children’s process. The myriad changes following divorce really impact the children. Parents who have been in painful relationships can be very eager to form a new relationship, and for their children to meet the new significant other in their lives. They may feel that their children need to see them in a healthy and happy relationship that they didn’t see during the marriage. Parents may also feel that they don’t have enough time with their new partner and with their children, and seek to maximize the time by spending time altogether. Unfortunately, many parents have a hard time seeing this experience through the eyes of their children and its impact on them.

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Getting Out of the Marital Dynamic

Getting Out of the Marital Dynamic by Jeff ZimmermanA divorcing couple’s marital dynamic — often the usual pattern of unproductive interactions — is so entrenched that it can be challenging for divorce professionals to avoid it as well.

Many high-conflict couples often interact as “mind readers.” Each person is definitively sure what the other thinks, feels, and intends. Although the level of certainty is absolute, the likely reality is that one’s perspective about the other may be incorrect or only partially correct at best. Read More

Resolving to Create Deep Peace for Your Children

Resolving to Create Deep Peace for Your Children by Lauren BehrmanJanuary was “National Child-Centered Divorce Month,” and we can take this opportunity to look in the rearview mirror and ask ourselves what type of parents we have been. Are we parents who provide our children with the best we have to offer—including fostering the healthiest relationship possible with the other parent?   Read More

Moving the Connection from Anger at Each Other to Love for Your Children

Moving the Connection from Anger at Each Other to Love for Your Children by Jeff ZimmermanWhen a marriage ends, and usually for some time after, one or both of the partners may feel a lot of anger. Generally the anger is related to how each person feels about the other (disappointments, betrayals, hurtful words and actions, etc.). It can be very reminiscent of their marital dynamic. Read More

Making Co-Parenting Work Despite the Divorce – Because You Both Love Your Children!

Making Co-Parenting Work Despite the Divorce – Because You Both Love Your Children! by Rosalind SedaccaBy Rosalind Sedacca, CDC

Let’s face it, divorce is tough enough for anyone to go through. When you’re a parent, it can feel like an insurmountable obstacle, especially when you think about co-parenting your children.

Ask yourself this crucial question — and keep it in mind daily as you move through life as co-parents …

What will our kids say about how we handled the divorce when they are grown adults?

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Turning Holiday Breakdowns into Breakthroughs

Turning Holiday Breakdowns into Breakthroughs by Lauren BehrmanDuring this past Halloween, I was reminded that this holiday is often a flashpoint for conflict between parents who are divorcing or have already divorced. In many of the families that I work with, there were issues around the timing and act of trick-or-treating, costumes, dinner, etc. Read More

Parental Communication: How to Talk with One Another

Jeff Zimmerman and Lauren Behrman’s Family Advocate article is available here.

Family Advocate Article 2015

My Divorce Recovery

Jeffrey Zimmerman, Ph.D., ABPP
JeffZimmermanPhD@MyDivorceRecovery.com
212-485-0033

Lauren Behrman, Ph.D.
LaurenBehrmanPhD@MyDivorceRecovery.com
212-799-7921

College Process Strategies for Divorced Families

College Process Strategies for Divorced Families by Lauren BehrmanWhen the college-age children of divorced families begin their journey out of the nest and onto the quad, the best gift to give them is the peace of mind that comes in knowing their foundation is still there. The last thing they want—as they’re preparing for their SATs, ACTs and writing their essays—is to worry about the conflict between mom and dad regarding which colleges they can think about, because mom and dad have not come to an agreement in advance.

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